One Thousand and One San Franciscan Nights

The Never Ending Story -- man, did I hate this movie as a child

For the past week-and-a-half, the roomate I actually like has been away, meaning Roomie Madoff and I have been spending a lot of quality time together.  I really dislike her, so it’s kind of the pits. This is only magnified by the fact that she’s super boring.  I’ve had more riveting conversations with my laundry.  For serious.  The Good Roomate and I came up with a theory (well, it’s true, so I guess that makes it a law — The Roomie Madoff Law) that our roomate is kind of like a vampire.  Having nothing remotely interesting happening in her own life, she feeds off the exciting stories of others.  This works out okay for Good Roomate and I, as we both love the sound of our own voices above anything on this earth.  But it’s been getting annoying lately, because quite frankly, I’ve stopped telling Roomie Madoff my best stories (on account of the fact that she doesn’t deserve to hear them), so the ones I do tell her are kind of dullsville.

The other day, she came back home from doing something random/hippy/totally annoying, and we proceeded to talk about the fact that she was going to be doing some totally random/hippy/totally annoying bike ride in Sonoma the next day.  This interested me not at all.  Then there was a lull in the conversation.

Roomie Madoff: So…got any wacky stories from the restaurant?

What, am I your monkey?

Me: ehhh, not really.

Roomie Madoff: Oh.

[Awkward silence, and we both stare at the floor]

Me: Oh, well, this one thing happened…

It wasn’t even a great story, but I gave it all I had — gesturing wildly, exaggerating liberally — seriously, they should have given me an Emmy.  When all was said and done, Roomie Madoff smiled, content that she had all the entertaining sustance she needed in order to carry on her boring life, and me relieved that she was content enough to leave the room.  Where was she going? Hell if I knew, but it was definitely random, probably hippy, and absolutely totally annoying.