Reality Bites

Remember in college, everyone used to complain, “I’m sick of this whole, ‘hook-up culture,’ whatever happened to good old fashioned dating?”  I’ll admit, I used to do this too. I have vivid memories of listening to this complaint over Sunday brunch at Dewick. I even used to agree, “yeahh! Whatever happened to dating!” While shoveling scrambled eggs into my mouth in order to stave off a hangover.  I agreed because it seemed like the thing to do.  And also? Because I was an idiot.  Now that I’ve been out and about in the Real World, I have to say, I’m sick of this whole “dating” thing, whatever happened to good old fashioned “hook-up culture?” 

Not that I’m advocating spending a Saturday night in a sweaty basement, listening to Li’l Wayne and chugging Natty Ice. Only to wake up on Sunday afternoon in some random dorm room, lying next to a Pre-Frosh.  No.  Gross.  But equally gross to me, is this formal Going on Dates thing. I’m gonna admit: not a fan.  

I’ll admit it, I don’t enjoy “going out for coffee” (why did we decide this is a great first date activity?) Making awkward conversation — “you like long walks along the beach — get out, I love long walks along the beach!” I don’t get a kick out of the ohhh-shit-I-don’t-have-anything-else-to-say-how-do-I-get-out-of-here?conversation lull that sets in after about half an hour of small talk.  Nor do I care for the “okay, yeah, that was great, I had fun” (we did not, that was totally awkward) “well uh, take care…” and then there’s that uncertain pause, where you both linger for a second, and you wonder, can I just leave?  Op, wait, no, he’s goin’ in for the goodbye hug. Okay, guess we’re doin’ that. ”

Okay, yeah, byebye now.”

 Then, you go out to dinner, and do it all over again.  This process is awful. And so formal.  I feel like I’m being courted.  Next, you’ll ask me to go steady, then give me your pin to wear.  

Whatever happened to good ol’ fashioned just hanging out?

Call me sentimental, but I prefer getting a post-dinner text from the object of my affection: “hey wats up?”

“just getting done with dinner, you?”

“cool. same. my boys are having a party on sunset tonite u should come”

Lather rinse repeat a few weekends to see if you actually like the person, then you can transition into dinner dates.  Maybe even coffee dates.  Maybe.