
Lindsay Lohan receiving yet another smiley face text message from Wilmer Valderama
Boys shouldn’t use emoticons ever. That means, never ever. A smiley face :) or any variation thereof is not whimsical or cute. A sad face :( makes me think you’re retarded. And don’t send me a winky face ;) if you expect to talk to me ever again. Sorry to be so blunt about it, guys, but it needed to be said. Boys Using Emoticons(or BUE, pronounced “boo” — as in the noise you make when jeering something) has become rampant, and it needs to be put to an end. Just type haha like a normal person, okay? Or better, if you’re gonna say something ambiguous, leave it up to me to determine whether or not you’re joking. If you’re not? Great! I love jerks. If you are, but I think you’re not? Great! I love jerks. If you use an emoticon? Joke’s on you: I don’t like boys who use emoticons.
Next time: we’ll discuss why boys should never use “hehe” (hint: it’s creepy).