“Is it true that Chris Brown originated the swine flu?”

Not even this pig wants to be associated with Chris Brown

So much classiness is going on today.  This is what some papparazzo asked Jay-Z and Rihanna today.  Wait, what?  I’ve never actually seen any of these TMZ videos (and I only saw 5 seconds of this one) but man the photogs REALLY get in the faces of celebs.  I can only imagine how hard it must be for someone like Rihanna who is actually trying to get through a tough time.  Anyway, hearing that her ex-boyfriend possibly started the epidemic that’s spreading through America must have caused a laugh.

Jay-Z Laughs at Chris Brown’s Expense [TMZ]

Got Swine Flu?

 

11:50 AM Jeffrey: http://doihaveswineflu.org/

11:51 AM me: ahahahahahaha

 

                  Jeffrey: lollll

                                 AND

 

 

11:52 AM me: HAHAHA

  amazing

 Jeffrey: hahahah

  thought you’d enjoiii

11:53 AM me: oh, i more than enjoyed

At least there’s a bright side

andrea: i may have read a study about tamiflu making you psychotic?
andrea: i may be making that up
andrea: but don’t kill anyone!
melanie: ANDREA
melanie: DON’T TELL ME THAT
andrea: just warning you!!
andrea: just lock yourself in your room!
andrea: i just googled it
andrea: hallucinations, not psychotic behavior
andrea: you’re in the clear!

Talk About Poor Timing

So I have the flu and no it’s not farm animal related.  It’s just the normal, run of the mill, fever and chills flu, and I just so happend to get it during this awesome epidemic.  My mom immediately panicked when she heard I was sick and read me the symptoms of “swine flu” and hey guess what, they’re the same as the regular flu.  Honestly, I just have really crappy timing.  I have not made out with pigs recently, unless you count the d-bags in Boston as pigs (HEY-O!, kidding, I didn’t even make out with anyone there), nor have I had any contact with anyone who has recently been to Mexico.  And yet, this won’t matter.  I’ll be “pig flu” girl or something.  Ugh, stupid.  Now excuse me, I have to go get a blanket, I’m freezing even though it’s 90 degrees out.  Oh wait, now I’m sweating. FML.

I Hope There is a Vaccine for This

That horn isn't magical. It's filled with disease and death.

 

Meredith: i think i’m coming down with cenataur flu

me: unicorn flu is next

should we alert the media?

Meredith: i dunno, i heard there’s a conspiracy to keep unicorn flu secret

it’s an issue of national mythical creatures security or something

i dunno, a lepprechaun was telling me all this, but you know how they are…(eye roll)

Want to Hug This Pig?

Too bad.  You can’t.  Unless you want THE SWINE FLU. Womp womp.