If This Isn’t An Ad Alluding to Sex, I’ll Probably Be Disappointed

Can you see this?  This is a billboard across from my office in SoHo/TriBeCa on Varick and Canal.  If you squint you can see it’s an unmade bed and it looks like it has just been sexed in.  The thing is, it’s been this way for about two weeks now and nothing else has changed–nothing has been added to it, no billboards around it have mentioned this boom boom bed, nothing.  So NOW, I am intrigued.  What is this billboard?  What is it advertising?  Sheets?  A hotel? A bed? A daytime affair service?  Mama needs some answers.

Happy Earth Day

In honor of Earth Day, I’m not going to suggest you do the standard things that everyone wants you to do (use reusable bags for groceries, turn off the lights, shut down your computers at work, etc.). No. I’m more caring than that. I want your sex to be green.

Yes, you read that right. Green. Honestly? To me, “green” sex would be hooking up with the lights off and candles in the background (and omg, like, soooooooo romantic) but apparently there are other environmentally safe ways to make the lurve.

My favorites?

Do you like getting spanked? Well, please use an environmentally sound spanking paddle that is made of “materials from a sustainable source by a fair trade project in India”

Have you ever been in the hot sun and instead of sweating your back off, been extremely turned on but have no vibrator in the vicinity to satisfy such an urge? Well, fear not my sexually aroused friends, the solar powered vibrator is here! That’s right. Now, you can charge up that sex toy and use at your disposal at any time.

So, there you have it. Go get your green groove on, knowing that you are helping the planet…ish? Whatevs, girl’s got needs. Get yours.

10 Ways to Green Up Your Sex Life [Takepart]