Things to Do Once I Finally Have a Permanent Job

1. Visit friends and family back East.

2. Quit my job at the restuarant and, ergo, quit my 3-4 times/week smoking habit.

3. Find Jon and Kate in Pennslyvania and offer to take like, 2 of the 8 off their hands.

4. Buy a leather jacket.

5. Learn how to skateboard.

6. Turn Roomie Madoff’s bedroom into a meth lab.

7. Visit Duke in Paris.

8. “Visit” the cast of Lost in Hawaii and trick my way into a starring role for the final season.

9. Get a Wii.

10. Get Shia Labeouf to be my boyfriend.

11. Travel more.

12. Organize peace on earth.

(90) Days of Unemployment

It has been approximately 90 days since I was laid off.  It’s 3:30 am.  I can’t sleep.  It’s hard to imagine now, but the day after I got laid off, I went to Vegas for three days.  Yep, that’s right, Vegas.  Granted, I was already planning to go to Vegas before I got laid off — bought my ticket during my lunch break the very day I got laid off, but really? I did that? Reckless? Irresponsible? Stupid? Or best decision of my life?  I vacillate between the last two.  I think it was simultaneously both.  Foolish perhaps, but at the time, I think it was what I needed to get my mojo flowing. Sometimes, you gotta do stupid things to get your groove back.

Since being laid off, I’ve temped part-time at a non-profit that organizes continuing education opportunities for Seniors;  I’ve worked (well, work, present tense) at a restaurant.  I’ve met dozens of new people — some I’ve been apathetic about, some I’ve disliked; many I’ve liked, and some I’ve really liked.  Some, I’ve regrettably fallen out of contact with because I’m bad at staying in contact with people (if you’re one of those people, and you’re reading this, hey, let’s hang out by the way?).  I’ve Networked with countless people to no avail; sent out billions more cover letters and resumes, and heard back from few.  Then, in the month of July, I all but gave up.  I knew that I needed to keep trying, but it just got to be so damn dispiriting.  This, was no funemployment.