Deep Thoughts

Apparently, there was a 4.1 earthquake in the Bay Area today, around 10 am.  I found out about it via facebook statuses when I woke up at 11am.  This leads me to believe, that when “The Big One” hits, I’ll be like those people in Titanic, who slept right on through the ship sinking.  [ed note: i still don’t understand how you sleep through a fucking ship sinking?! All the screaming, and violin music? That wouldn’t wake you up? What about the gun fight between Leo and Billy Zane? No? Guns don’t wake you up? How about the fact that you’re in the fucking arctic!  That water is fucking cold! No? None of that woke you up? Okay, wow. I give up.]

Really, You’re Using Facebook. Why not E-Mail?

Text: The piers are out…that sucks. I bet you froze. Sorry I was so short yesterday. We’re trying to move to get this party planned…blah blah. The Kleins will be in Chicago for the marathon on the 11th to support Kerstin running. Will you be around?

How’s the new job? When are we going to a packer game? We need to plan a ski/snowmobiling trip?

And This Phrase Has Been Added to my Repertoire

What we had to answer in order to find out who our celeb BFFs are. Extremely accurate.

That’s right.  Mer and I?  We are grown ass women who ain’t got no time.  We’ll end up in jail for killin that beotch.  Don’t mess with us.  Seriously?  Amazing.

Quiz results were actually quite accurate.  Mer’s celeb BFF is Beyonce:  

“Wow in High School girls hated yall and guys consider you two to be stuck up. Yall gossip about everyone and talk down about people, and when confronted all yall do is lie. Scared to fight so you guys play it off by laughing and walking away. You two have beautiful faces but UGLY attitudes. Yall stay in class during lunch and never attend school activities. Known to be the teachers biggest pets. Two faceded and back stabbers…use people to get what yall want. Nothing but fakeness and Scary as hell!”

My celeb BFF is Nikki Minaj (?)

You two were known for drama in High School…Always fighting and jumping people to this day. Loved the spot light even if it was negative. Didn’t care to much about school other then the sex ed class. Boys consider yall the ride da die type of chicks. Like one of the boys, you two were high almost everyday in the back of your history class talking shyt about the teacher. Love to dress and always had yall nails and hair done. Tight jeans, small shirts, and nike dunks is what yall wore. With a mouth full of gold. Had a mouth piece like outta dis world…every young dude dream girl! But now things are getting a little old and the game is getting tired..time to grow up and become ladies so that guys could respect you. But no matta what yall still got that bad bitch attitude beneath the fake smiles…lol You will always like the bad boy type. A man you can’t run over and that could tame you and all your wild ways.

“I Can’t Wait to Hear About Me On Your Blooooog”

Oh, Funny or Die, I love you so much.  Not only do you give me funny videos of James Franco and Pearl the Landlord (which never gets old), but you give me this amazing mini-musical about the internet, Web Site Story.  “Take the famous ballads and duets of West Side Story, insert a dozen mentions of famous social media sites like twitter and facebook, and this is what you get.”  It’s amazeballs, usa.  Check it out.

Web Site Story [Funny or Die]

I Don’t Like This

If I were Mark Zuckerberg, Emporer of Facebook, I'd terminate the Friend Suggestion feature ASAP

You know how facebook has that totally useless side bar where they “recommend” people for you to add as a friend?  Usually it’s someone you went to school with, or someone who happens to be facebook friends with a lot of your facebook friends; someone you’ve probably met, but for whatever reason your relationship never progressed to facebook.

Imagine my surprise when the opposite happened.  Today, facebook recommended someone who I was casually seeing for a bit, here in SF,  but we never progressed to facebook friends on account of the fact that I was kind of bored with him, and then he rudely dumped via text message. Like, uh, thanks facebook, for recommending we be facebook friends, but I don’t even want to be real life friends with this person, thank you very much, let alone add him as a virtual one.

But then, curiousity got the best of me (of course) and I decided to look at Senior Text Dropper’s (TM) profile.  Stupidly, his profile is public, meaning anyone can see his profile — including the fact that as of a few days ago he “went from being single to in a relationship.”  Gag me, facebook.  But also? Close call, me.  And, while I’m glad to have avoided ending up in that boring relationship, I’m not particularly glad facebook decided to make me aware of my good fortune.  If you’re not in my phone anymore, I don’t want you in my life — facebook or otherwise.  So, I give facebook’s friend recommender a facebook thumbs down: do not like.