Dear Matthew Fox, What Happened?!

Is it me, or is chest-hairless Matthew Fox really, really creepy?  This post is like SPOILERS on crack.  If you haven’t seen the last few seasons of Lost, but want to, STOP READING NOW.

Jack’s hairless torso made its first appearance last season, when we were shown a flash-forward of Jack and Kate’s life together off the island.  Maybe this was a consequence of leaving the island? Kind of like how Michael couldn’t die, or Hurley started seeing dead people, Jack lost all his body hair from the neck down, because they weren’t supposed to leave the island! Last year, Defamer wrote a really great piece about the Curious Case of Jack’s Disappearing Chest Hair.

1970s: a good time for chest hair

But now we’re back on the island, and Jack’s hair still hasn’t grown back — which is totally weird by the way — wasn’t the 70’s The Decade of Chest Hair?

I don’t know if chest-hairless Jack  is the development of some Bare Chest-Off with Sawyer,

Sawyer's hairless chest is okay, because it looks natural

but M.Fox, baby, there’s no need to be insecure about your chest hair.  Shaving it all off only brings more attention to those embarrassing tattoos… You’re a good looking guy, why ruin it by making your body look like a skinless chicken at the deli counter?

This better mean something really awesome to him, because to me, it just means "ugly"

All I know is, hairless-chest-Matthew Fox: you’re not foolin’ anyone with that baby butt smooth torso.  You’re a hairy dude (hello, first few seasons of Lost?).

You have to grow it back, Jack. You have to grow it BACK!

Get over it.  In fact, some chicks dig hairy guys.  Not necessarily this chick, but some chicks.  Please go back to your natural hairiness.  And also, tell 5th Season Jack to grow a pair of balls.  He sucks even more than usual.