I Thought This Was Called “Things Everybody Does”…No?

I don’t understand the remarkableness of the observations found in the following quote:

Video games. Greasy tacos. Wisecracks about scoring government-sanctioned weed. Meeting Mila Kunis gives you a glimpse of what might’ve happened if the Phoebe Cates character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High had somehow spawned a child with Jeff Spicoli.

Because:

a) Up until recently, I was operating under the assumption that all girls were like this.  Apparently they’re not? Go figure.  Well, all the ones I know are…Which leads me to…

b) Why do guys think it’s suuuch a crazy thing when girls act like this? Hello, we’re not all Paris Hiltonwannabes watching the Lifetime Channel, while gorging ourselves on Ben & Jerry’s, scheming to hook ourselves a man.  We don’t all want to date Jon Gosselin just to end up in the pages of US Weekly.  Many of us would never be caught dead watching any movie starring Kate Hudson, or, let’s face it, worse: Sandra Bullock.

So cheers, Mila Kunis.  I salute you for staying nerdy, eating greasy Mexican food, getting high, and dating my childhood crush, Macaulay Culkin.  Stay gold, Ponyboy.

And oh, Details magazine: go fuck yourself.

Mila Kunis is Funny, Fearless, and a Total Babe [Details]

Hey, It’s Friday

Apparently, the first time Seth Rogen was on Jimmy Kimmel Live, so was Megan Fox.  Here’s Seth Rogen talking about that first time — and getting shut-down by Megan “Too Sexy” Fox*.  Hey, it’s Friday.

via [Just Jared]

*Deep secret: I kind of like Megan Fox again

If I HAD To Be a Muse

Clearly, there's something about Pattie. Pattie Boyd and George Harrison

I’d want to be Pattie Boyd.  Sure, she’s British, and pretty, and used to be a model, but that’s not why I’d want to be Pattie Boyd.  Nope.  If I had to be a muse, I’d be Pattie Boyd because she inspired George Harrison to write Something for the Beatles, and Eric Clapton to write both Layla and Wonderful Tonight.  Sure, she cheated on George Harrison with his best friend, Eric Clapton when she was still married to the former Beatle.  And sure, she and Eric Clapton went on to have a rocky marriage, and she may or may not have become a drug addict/alcoholic. Whatever. Fine, she did that.  But, is there any finer instrumental closer in a Classic Rock song than the one that happens in Layla? I don’t think so.

Sad Face

Michael Jackson just passed away.  He suffered a fatal heart attack.  He was 50 years old.  Commemorative post to follow.

Michael Jackson is Dead [LA Times]

Dear Megan Fox, Please Stop

I'm glad you think you're hot, now please shut up about it

Dear Megan Fox,

Please stop. I wanted to like you, I really did.  So what, that your character in Transformers wasn’t really believable? So what, that it’s been two years since then and you haven’t been in any movies since? Not this girl.  I liked the fact that you were into being an independent chick.  I liked the fact that you were dating my childhood crush, 90210‘s Brian Austen Green. And, okay, he’s kind of old and creepy now, and I’m not really sure what you’re thinking dating him, but I like the fact that you thought it anyway.  I even liked that convoluted story about how you were involved with a female stripper when you were 19. Megan Fox, I liked you. Buuut then you had to go open your big fat mouth, and you blew it.  You blew it like your name is Kenny G. and it’s the 90’s all over again.

Because seriously, if I have to read one more quote from you talking about how hot you are, I’m going to…well…I’m going to do nothing, because, well, I don’t actually know you…but seriously, dude, we get it. You’re hot.  Your plastic surgeon has done great work.

Megan Fox: Before and After

Congratulations, that was money well spent.  Now can you please shut up about how hard-it-is-being-a-sex-symbol-except-I-actually-like-being-preceived-as-promiscuous-and-wild-who-wants-to-be-proper-and-polite-and-bo-ring–not-this-hottie! ?

It’s true, it sucks when people don’t take you seriously and/or assume that you must be a promiscuous whore based on the way you look.  And no, it’s not fair that you have to look a certain way in Hollywood in order to become a “bankable” actress.  Many times people assume that when one puts a lot of time into their appearance, one is not putting in an equal amount of time to develop intellectually stimulating pursuits — and yeah, it’s unfair of people to assume that.  So what, you’ve been in more topless photo shoots than movies?

So what, you’re fond of never closing your mouth in pictures? That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be taken seriously as an actress. We get that.  Thanks for letting us know.  Writing that into my journal now: It’s unfair to be so hot. Great, done.

After my birthday, this is what I'm most excited for this summer

But you know what’s also unfair?  It’s also unfair that pretty much my entire enjoyment of Transformers 2 is going to be shot to hell if you don’t stop running your mouth off.

I don’t care that you’re hot; I don’t care that you’re too “edgy” to be America’s Sweetheart; I don’t even care that you’re so “wild” and “crazy” you’ll just say anything that pops into your head. I just don’t, okay?  Keep your thoughts to yourself. You like being a “sex symbol?” Great, I enjoy that about you too.  Just shut up and let me look at you.

UPDATE: Actually, I kind of like Megan Fox…

July Cover Star: Megan Fox [British GQ] via [JustJared]

Deep Thoughts

 

Her own biggest fan?

“I don’t want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I’ve ever learned to prove, like, ‘Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.’ I don’t want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I’m not a retard – but I do.”  — Actress Megan Fox, on being a sex symbol

 

Megan Fox Finds Sex-Symbol Role Comes Naturally[People]

Dear Matthew Fox, What Happened?!

Is it me, or is chest-hairless Matthew Fox really, really creepy?  This post is like SPOILERS on crack.  If you haven’t seen the last few seasons of Lost, but want to, STOP READING NOW.

Jack’s hairless torso made its first appearance last season, when we were shown a flash-forward of Jack and Kate’s life together off the island.  Maybe this was a consequence of leaving the island? Kind of like how Michael couldn’t die, or Hurley started seeing dead people, Jack lost all his body hair from the neck down, because they weren’t supposed to leave the island! Last year, Defamer wrote a really great piece about the Curious Case of Jack’s Disappearing Chest Hair.

1970s: a good time for chest hair

But now we’re back on the island, and Jack’s hair still hasn’t grown back — which is totally weird by the way — wasn’t the 70’s The Decade of Chest Hair?

I don’t know if chest-hairless Jack  is the development of some Bare Chest-Off with Sawyer,

Sawyer's hairless chest is okay, because it looks natural

but M.Fox, baby, there’s no need to be insecure about your chest hair.  Shaving it all off only brings more attention to those embarrassing tattoos… You’re a good looking guy, why ruin it by making your body look like a skinless chicken at the deli counter?

This better mean something really awesome to him, because to me, it just means "ugly"

All I know is, hairless-chest-Matthew Fox: you’re not foolin’ anyone with that baby butt smooth torso.  You’re a hairy dude (hello, first few seasons of Lost?).

You have to grow it back, Jack. You have to grow it BACK!

Get over it.  In fact, some chicks dig hairy guys.  Not necessarily this chick, but some chicks.  Please go back to your natural hairiness.  And also, tell 5th Season Jack to grow a pair of balls.  He sucks even more than usual.

This Is Tweeting — We’re Tweeting Right?

Entertainment Tonight co-host, Maria Menounos

thedith@melsanie: need something to do while at sushi? follow maria menunos: http://twitter.com/youromegagirl …you’re welcome 8:33 PM  

 

 

 

melsanie@TheDith: omg. well, through her i found gerard “gerry” butler. (http://twitter.com/Gerry_Bu…)*. YOU are welcome. 8:50 PM  from web in reply to thedith

3000's Gerard Butler

 

thedith@melsanie: i dunno, he just reminds me of “ps, i love you” and ps, i hated that movie 2:03 AM from web in reply to melsanie

This movie is the pits

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*It appears Gerard Butler’s Twitter page is no longer working, BUT through Maria Menounos, I found Kim Kardashian.  Again, you’re welcome.

Happy NFL Draft!!

If you’re like me, you find the process of sitting down and watching the draft on tv tedious.  Thank God, for espn.com online coverage.  

To celebrate today’s holiday — and provide a little something for those who don’t care about the NFL Draft, here’s a classic Chappelle Show sketch about the draft — the Racial Draft, that is.

 

Daily Crush

Oh me? I'm just hanging out on my desk.