Based On a Real E-Mail

From: thedith

To: melsanie

okay, so caitlin was all, “what is your work schedule this weekend?” and i said “nil. i’m not working this weekend.” and she said, “good, we’re going to calistoga. we’re going to lie in the sun, and drink, and there’s a mister for when it gets too hot…” and i replied, “okay, as long as there are no boys.” to which she replied, “good idea, no boys.” and i was happy.

THEN

we started watching the real world and drinking red wine, and i was like, “okay, but we can have some boys.” then dana came back from hanging out with her friends, and i was like, “who’d you hang out with? any cute boys?” mel. i am totally, boy crazy. butt crazy crazy. what’s my deal? i hate them. a lot. and yet? i’m totally boy crazy. just call me butt crazy boy crazy stacy.

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

Meredith: lately, i’m feeling almost megan foxish

in that i don’t appreciate how the first inclination of a guy when he meets you is “how can i fuck her”

Melanie: it’s true though

in fairness, girls’ first inclination of a guy is “how can we date”

usually

Meredith: hahahahaha

ew

but isn’t “how can we date” better than “how can i fuck her”?

because one is all like, “oh i want to like you” and the other is “i want you as a conquest”

Melanie: in our eyes, yes