Don’t Egg My House, But…

Has anyone ever wondered why we call the abortion debate “Pro Life” vs. “Pro Choice?” Shouldn’t it be “Anti-Choice” vs. “Pro Choice?”

I’m just saying…

Class Acts

Michelle Obama made Maxim‘s Top 100 list.  She came in at 93. Yes.  You read that right.

Michelle Obama's Official White House portrait--and also her photo for Maxim's Hot 100 list.

#93?  Doesn’t that feel like kind of an insult?  Like, she’s not hot enough to even make it to the top 50?  Come on Maxim, it’s like put her on there or not.

Got Swine Flu?

 

11:50 AM Jeffrey: http://doihaveswineflu.org/

11:51 AM me: ahahahahahaha

 

                  Jeffrey: lollll

                                 AND

 

 

11:52 AM me: HAHAHA

  amazing

 Jeffrey: hahahah

  thought you’d enjoiii

11:53 AM me: oh, i more than enjoyed

Uh, More Like FUNemployment…

 

Are we still raising the roof?

So, unless that case of the swine flu you caught the other day has left you disoriented and/or amnesiatic, you probably know that our economy? Not so hot right now.  And California? Not the healthiest state in The Union. You may have heard that California has the fourth highest unemployment rate in the country; or that the entire state ran out of cash in February .  Today, I read that one million Californians are unemployed.  That’s right, 1 million.  You’d think that this would kind of bum people out.  You’d be wrong. Now that no one has to work during the day, people are happier than ever.  Take my neighborhood for example:

 

My local park was teeming with people sprawled luxuriously in the sun.  Some were shirtless, others wore bathing suits — and only two were just crazy homeless people.  None were tourists.  The sidewalk cafes were littered with Yuppy couples and friends, probably trading composting tips; gelato shops were packed with hooded-headed hipsters.  I could go on, except, what is going on San Francisco?  No one is at work, and no one seems to mind.  Is there a such thing as “funemployment?”

I’d ask my unemployed musician neighbor who lives upstairs, but he’s too busy blasting gypsy carnival music to answer.

Talk About Poor Timing

So I have the flu and no it’s not farm animal related.  It’s just the normal, run of the mill, fever and chills flu, and I just so happend to get it during this awesome epidemic.  My mom immediately panicked when she heard I was sick and read me the symptoms of “swine flu” and hey guess what, they’re the same as the regular flu.  Honestly, I just have really crappy timing.  I have not made out with pigs recently, unless you count the d-bags in Boston as pigs (HEY-O!, kidding, I didn’t even make out with anyone there), nor have I had any contact with anyone who has recently been to Mexico.  And yet, this won’t matter.  I’ll be “pig flu” girl or something.  Ugh, stupid.  Now excuse me, I have to go get a blanket, I’m freezing even though it’s 90 degrees out.  Oh wait, now I’m sweating. FML.

I Hope There is a Vaccine for This

That horn isn't magical. It's filled with disease and death.

 

Meredith: i think i’m coming down with cenataur flu

me: unicorn flu is next

should we alert the media?

Meredith: i dunno, i heard there’s a conspiracy to keep unicorn flu secret

it’s an issue of national mythical creatures security or something

i dunno, a lepprechaun was telling me all this, but you know how they are…(eye roll)