Dear Meredith, You Haven’t Been on gchat in 2 Days,

Love,

melsanie

Warning: May Cause Office Rage

Meredith: and, although i hate this song:

i do really like this performance i’m so conflicted!

Melanie: i hate that you have shown me this song more than three times 

Meredith: HAHAHAHA

Melanie: because i hate this song so much

Meredith: i know that i’ve shown it to you at least once before

Melanie: well once felt like three times because it’s that bad

Meredith: but i needed to drive home the point that the performance is so good but this song is so bad

Melanie: i can’t even watch

Meredith: like, i want to take this song in my bare hands and strangle it

Melanie: and kick it in the balls

11:00 AM what are those dancers doing

Meredith: then take a shit on its face

Melanie: and then sleep with it’s mother for good measure

Meredith: and best friend

11:01 AM

Melanie: what are those dancers doing? there is too much shimmying for this song

Meredith: and why are there like TEN synthasizers?

i like the one guy playing 2 at once

Melanie: i don’t even think one is being played

 is that a keyboard guitar?

keytar?

Meredith: YES

where do we get a keytar?

Melanie:  i want a keyar and play it with my piano tie

Meredith: hahahahaha

omg there are no words for how angry i get when that song comes on the radio 

 it’s like that movie that was controversial back in the 50s or something, because whenever “jailhouse rock” would come on, the youth would riot that’s what “break my stride” is like everytime i hear that song i want to riot and break shit

Melanie: i will join you in that rebellion

Meredith: i picture them calling in building security picking you up, and you kicking your legs as they carry you out of the building

Melanie: and i’ll be convulsing foaming at the mouth allll because of that song

Meredith: “ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride, ain’t nothin’ gonna hold me do-wn, oh nooo!”

ugh that song ruined my morning not even “let’s stay together” can save it

Melanie: oh shut up

shut up

 i’m going to listen to jordin sparks* to try to erase that other horse poop from my memory

 

*This song is good enough to be posted twice within a week.

Kanye West Doesn’t Care About Bay Area People

Dear Kanye West and Lady GaGa:

No San Francisco dates of your joint Fame Kills tour — but you are going to Sacremento?! What the fuck gives, guys?

 

 

 

 

And Sac: I’m really happy for you, and I’mma let you finish, but San Francisco is the greatest S-named city in the Pacific Northwest, and we deserve this concert more than you do.

Kanye West/Lady Gaga Fame Kills Tour:

11-10 Phoenix, AZ – US Airways Center
11-11 San Diego, CA – Vegas Arena
11-13 Las Vegas, NV – Mandalay Bay Events Center
11-15 Anaheim, CA – Honda Center
11-16 Los Angeles, CA – Staples Center
11-18 Sacramento, CA – ARCO Arena
11-19 San Jose, CA – HP Pavilion
11-24 Vancouver, British Columbia – General Motors Place
11-26 Calgary, Alberta – Pengrowth Saddledome
11-28 Edmonton, Alberta – Rexall Place
11-29 Saskatoon, Saskatchewan – Credit Union Centre
12-02 Denver, CO – Pepsi Center
12-04 St. Louis, MO – Scottrade Center
12-09 Miami, FL – American Airlines Arena
12-11 Atlanta, GA – Philips Arena
12-12 Greensboro, NC – Greensboro Coliseum Complex
12-13 Norfolk, VA – Scope
12-16 Worcester, MA – DCU Center
12-18 Philadelphia, PA – Wachovia Center
12-19 Baltimore, MD – 1st Mariner Arena
12-20 Buffalo, NY – HSBC Center
12-22 East Rutherford, NJ – IZOD Center
12-26 Hartford, CT – XL Center
12-30 Washington, DC – Verizon Center
01-03 Uniondale, NY – Nassau Coliseum
01-06 Toronto, Ontario – Air Canada Centre
01-08 Kanata, Ontario – Scotiabank Place
01-11 Montreal, Quebec – Bell Centre
01-14 Auburn Hills, MI – Palace of Auburn Hills
01-16 Chicago, IL – United Center
01-19 New Orleans, LA – New Orleans Arena
01-21 San Antonio, TX – AT&T Center
01-22 Houston, TX – Toyota Center
01-24 Dallas, TX – American Airlines Center

via (Pitchfork)

Kanye West Will Let You Finish

Way to Go, My Hometown. You Asshole

Maybe you’ve heard about that Swim Club in Pennsylvania that’s in serious hot water (oh! Look, I made a punny!) over the fact that they’re revoking a summer pass they gave to a local summer camp? The summer camp is made up of mostly black and Latino kids, while the the country club is decidedly, um, not.  From The Huffington Post:

“The Creative Steps camp had arranged for 65 mostly black and Hispanic children to swim each Monday afternoon at the gated Huntingdon Valley club, which is on a leafy hillside in a village straddling two overwhelmingly white townships. But after the group arrived June 29, camp director Alethea Wright said, several children reported hearing racial comments and some swim club members pulled their children out of the pool.”

A few days later, Creative Steps recieved a refund in the mail, revoking their membership, for “safety considerations”.

This story bums me out, because yadda yadda it’s 2009, we have a black president, but also, this is my hometown! I grew up down the street in one of those “overwhelmingly white townships,” and yeah, it’s not a totally diverse place, but this sort of surprises me.  I say “sort of”, because, I actually can kind of remember that this particular country club had a pretty racist and anti-Semitic rep.  It’s just weird to see your big fat stupid, car dependent hometown receive national press for something so awful.

So now, our claims to fame:

Bob Saget (graduated from the local high school — what, what!)

Joey Lawrence (went to my school, saw him at Blockbuster once)

Me (awesome)

Bradley Cooper (went to my rival high school, major babe)

Matthew Fox (well, born there.  Former major babe)

and now this.  Nice. Slow clap, hometown, slo-ow. Clap.

Pennsylvania Swim Club Accused of Racism to Ask Minority Children Back [The Huffington Post]

When Pants Go Wrong

You know when pants look bad on a super model it’s going to look heinous on anyone else.

Yikes. Her bum looks like a soccer mom's. No thanks Victoria's Secret. Facebook thumbs down.

I Will Never Date You

If you dress like this.  Uh uh. Nope. No way. Get out of my house before I call the cops.  No, seriously.

I don't care that you won the Nobel Peace Prize, Ed Hardy is a dealbreaker always.

I Don’t Like This

If I were Mark Zuckerberg, Emporer of Facebook, I'd terminate the Friend Suggestion feature ASAP

You know how facebook has that totally useless side bar where they “recommend” people for you to add as a friend?  Usually it’s someone you went to school with, or someone who happens to be facebook friends with a lot of your facebook friends; someone you’ve probably met, but for whatever reason your relationship never progressed to facebook.

Imagine my surprise when the opposite happened.  Today, facebook recommended someone who I was casually seeing for a bit, here in SF,  but we never progressed to facebook friends on account of the fact that I was kind of bored with him, and then he rudely dumped via text message. Like, uh, thanks facebook, for recommending we be facebook friends, but I don’t even want to be real life friends with this person, thank you very much, let alone add him as a virtual one.

But then, curiousity got the best of me (of course) and I decided to look at Senior Text Dropper’s (TM) profile.  Stupidly, his profile is public, meaning anyone can see his profile — including the fact that as of a few days ago he “went from being single to in a relationship.”  Gag me, facebook.  But also? Close call, me.  And, while I’m glad to have avoided ending up in that boring relationship, I’m not particularly glad facebook decided to make me aware of my good fortune.  If you’re not in my phone anymore, I don’t want you in my life — facebook or otherwise.  So, I give facebook’s friend recommender a facebook thumbs down: do not like.