The Day the Coug Joke Died

Meredith: last week, not only did a teenager with aspergers ask for my number but i was asked by my co-worker why i don’t have a boyfriend

Nikki: hahaha

Meredith: then a teenager proposed to me while his friends took pictures for a scavenger hunt

like, really? must i have all these things happen in one weekend? such an accidental coug

 Nikki: ugh i hate those “why aren’t you dating anyone” questions

Meredith:  i know! so obnoxious

Nikki: like what do you say to that?

hmm well i’m not dating anyone because i don’t like anyone

and no one likes me

yay. the end.

Meredith: i want to respond with “why are you such a nosy shit?”
 or, “i’m a lesbian”

My Milkshake Brings All the Pubescent Boys to the Yard

Meredith: at what point is a coog a straight up pedophile?

Melanie: hahahahaha

half your age plus or minus seven

Meredith: oh, duh.

ohhhh too young

but like, 16 is the new 19.5

…right?

Just kidding.  That’s gross.  Personally, I think even 23 is too young.  Unless you’re Michael Cera, because, say what you want about how he always plays the same character over and over again, I don’t care.  Yeah, I’d hit that.