Dear Megan Fox, Please Stop

I'm glad you think you're hot, now please shut up about it

Dear Megan Fox,

Please stop. I wanted to like you, I really did.  So what, that your character in Transformers wasn’t really believable? So what, that it’s been two years since then and you haven’t been in any movies since? Not this girl.  I liked the fact that you were into being an independent chick.  I liked the fact that you were dating my childhood crush, 90210‘s Brian Austen Green. And, okay, he’s kind of old and creepy now, and I’m not really sure what you’re thinking dating him, but I like the fact that you thought it anyway.  I even liked that convoluted story about how you were involved with a female stripper when you were 19. Megan Fox, I liked you. Buuut then you had to go open your big fat mouth, and you blew it.  You blew it like your name is Kenny G. and it’s the 90’s all over again.

Because seriously, if I have to read one more quote from you talking about how hot you are, I’m going to…well…I’m going to do nothing, because, well, I don’t actually know you…but seriously, dude, we get it. You’re hot.  Your plastic surgeon has done great work.

Megan Fox: Before and After

Congratulations, that was money well spent.  Now can you please shut up about how hard-it-is-being-a-sex-symbol-except-I-actually-like-being-preceived-as-promiscuous-and-wild-who-wants-to-be-proper-and-polite-and-bo-ring–not-this-hottie! ?

It’s true, it sucks when people don’t take you seriously and/or assume that you must be a promiscuous whore based on the way you look.  And no, it’s not fair that you have to look a certain way in Hollywood in order to become a “bankable” actress.  Many times people assume that when one puts a lot of time into their appearance, one is not putting in an equal amount of time to develop intellectually stimulating pursuits — and yeah, it’s unfair of people to assume that.  So what, you’ve been in more topless photo shoots than movies?

So what, you’re fond of never closing your mouth in pictures? That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be taken seriously as an actress. We get that.  Thanks for letting us know.  Writing that into my journal now: It’s unfair to be so hot. Great, done.

After my birthday, this is what I'm most excited for this summer

But you know what’s also unfair?  It’s also unfair that pretty much my entire enjoyment of Transformers 2 is going to be shot to hell if you don’t stop running your mouth off.

I don’t care that you’re hot; I don’t care that you’re too “edgy” to be America’s Sweetheart; I don’t even care that you’re so “wild” and “crazy” you’ll just say anything that pops into your head. I just don’t, okay?  Keep your thoughts to yourself. You like being a “sex symbol?” Great, I enjoy that about you too.  Just shut up and let me look at you.

UPDATE: Actually, I kind of like Megan Fox…

July Cover Star: Megan Fox [British GQ] via [JustJared]