Archive for May, 2009

Email Diaries

Posted in email, random with tags , , , on May 28, 2009 by thedith

melissa wants to share this video with you:

Man who ‘grew roots’

SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND THIS FOOTAGE DISTURBING. November 13: An Indonesian fisherman with tree-like growths covering his body has been given hope of recovery by a US doctor. Watch the full programme on the Discovery Channel at 9pm on Nov 15.

Meredith: ew, melissa, sick

Melissa: it was mom’s idea, talk to her about it.

I Thought We Just Wanna Have Fun?

Posted in inapropriately long posts, opinions, rants with tags , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2009 by thedith

Jemifer Aniston: Guilty of Ruining It. Refuckinglax, lady.

Jemifer Aniston: Guilty of Ruining It. Refuckinglax, lady.

Co-worker: So, do you have a boyfriend?

Me: Nope.

Co-worker: Uhh…girl…friend?

Me: Nope.  No boyfriend, no girlfriend, and I don’t particularly want one right now.

Co-worker: [pensive] huh.

Why is it, that when a girl gets to be a certain age, she’s suposed to have a boyfriend (or desperately trying to get one) or else people think she’s nuts — or worse yet, deluding herself? I recently had the revelation a few weeks ago, that the majority of my girl friends are in relationships.  What was most startling to anyone who I would share this revelation to, is that I wasn’t even sad about it.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” They would say.

“Why? I don’t even really want a boyfriend.” Then the other person, most likely in a relationship herself, would smile sadly at me, feeling the pity for me that I was clearly too silly to feel for myself.

But, I don’t feel sorry for myself.  I like meeting new people, and not feeling bad about flirting with members of the opposite sex when I go out; I like not feeling obligated to hang out with one particular person just because it’s the weekend, and I-guess-that’s-what-we’re-supposed-to-do; I like not having to call someone everyday to check-in with them — or worse yet, receiving that “just checking in” call.  What I don’t like is the pressure that I feel from everyone else to “settle down” and have a boyfriend.  I’m not even 23 yet for chrissake, why should I have to “settle” for anything other than the seats in the back of the bus so that way old people can sit up front?

Caitlin: And then, we realized that everyone else Nina had invited to her party was in a couple —

Me: Literally, everyone.

Caitlin: Except the two of us, and Melroy, so then we just hung out with him and Al all night — single’s party, if you will.

Roomie Madoff: Oh, wow, really? Were they? I didn’t even notice [rubs her boyfriend proudly on the shoulder]

Me: [Ignoring Roomie Madoff] Oh, God, I just remembered you saying: let’s promise we never get boyfriends or girlfriends — and then we pinky swore.

Caitlin: Oh my God, I did? Wow, how lame were we? We’re retarded.  [Thinks a minute] I miss Single’s Party.  Remember how bummed we were when we found out Al was a fraud, and actually had a girl friend?

Roomie Madoff: [shakes her head sadly, in between the exchange of knowing glances with her boyfriend.  A sense of relief washes over her, as she thinks “thank God I’m not them!“]

Roomie Madoff’s Boyfriend: [smiles right back at her. Oh, those wacky single kids!]

It’s not that I’m opposed to relationships, don’t misinterpret me.  I just kind of think, hey, if it happens it happens, why worry about it? It alarms me that the two national past-times for girls in their 20’s seems to be a). obsessing about food and/or weight and b). obsessing about boyfriends/finding boyfriends.  Because really, aren’t there so many other things in life worth experiencing? Why try to force something that’s bound to happen anyway? It’s not that serious.  Why do you need a serious relationship? Can’t boys be just for fun, too sometimes?  Maybe I’m missing something, but I think the fewer responsibilities in life, the better.  Because someday, you might be married and have kids, and then you’ll be really sorry that you weren’t more carefree when you were younger.  Relax.    Remember Cyndi Lauper said girls just wanna have fun? Well, you’re ruining it.  Calm down.

Daily Crush

Posted in daily crush, objectifying guys and i'm ok with it on May 27, 2009 by melsanie

In honor of going to the Pulitzer luncheon tomorrow, I thought I’d go with a cute Columbia student.

The Declaration of Emoticon Independence

Posted in emoticons, servicey, txt msg with tags , , , , , on May 25, 2009 by thedith
Much like Joaquin Phoenix new schtick as a rapper, emoticons are pointless and serve no real purpose in life

Much like Joaquin Phoenix' new schtick as a "rapper," emoticons are pointless and serve no real purpose in life

Earlier I posted that boys shouldn’t use smiley faces. I stand by that post. They shouldn’t.  Seriously, don’t do it.  Girls don’t like it. Technically though, I’ve never really been a fan of anyone using smiley faces.  Admit it, they’re kind of lame. :) :(  :p I mean, what do these things mean really? I get that it’s hard to convey emotion in written correspondance, I really do, but how often do you wink ;) at people? Stick out your tounge :p? Do this :8 (sidenote: Dear Makers of Emoticons, what does that even mean?!)

We’ve probably all fallen into the trap of using emoticons at least once.  I’m guilty myself.  Having a particularly sarcastic sense of humor, sometimes I find myself off-setting a particularly sarcastic comment with a :).  You know how fratty dudes love to throw their hands up and declare, “no homo” after any potentially homoerotic display of emotion has been shown? Well, my emoticons are like that — no jackass [inset smiley face]” I pretend I’m saying.  But you know what? I am a jackass.  And, I’m kind of a-o.k. with that.  In fact, I think I read in USA Today or The Washington Post — or, okay I made it up, that 93% of the entire Earth’s population are jackasses.  So why are we pretending otherwise?    It’s like when I use a no-jackass-smiley-face a part of me dies inside.  I really even roll my eyes to myself  as my fingers reach for the colon button followed by that right parenthesis sign, because I know I’m being a tool, and now this relationship is all faux-cheery, and you know, I kind of hate you for making me pretend that I’m smiling when I’m not. Jackass.

So no more emoticons from me.  That’s it, I’m through.  I’ve typed my last colon+shift button+0.  I don’t like the kind of correspondence it elicits, nor can I respect myself when I use it.  You can keep using them all you want, that’s your business.  Unless you’re a boy.  Then, as stated before, you can’t use emoticons — no jackass.

A Tale of Two Diets

Posted in gchat gangstas with tags , , , on May 25, 2009 by thedith
5:58 PM Melanie:this weekend i ate SO much
Meredith: but it was vegan stuff so whatever
it’s good for you, right?
Melanie: i hope so
Meredith: unless it was refried beans again
Melanie: i mean, i hope the massive quantities of tortilla chips are good for me
Meredith: hahaha
eh, can’t hurt
Melanie: yeah
5:59 PM nothing processed in it
Meredith: well depending on what chips you buy
Melanie: i only get the ones with 4 or less ingredients
corn flour, oil, salt
Meredith: i’ve never even checked
i’m saving up money now for the bypass i’m gonna need in 30 years
6:00 PM Melanie: HAHA
Meredith: maybe even 20 at the rate i’m goin
Melanie: probably a smart investment

Happy Memorial Day!

Posted in holidays on May 25, 2009 by thedith

Days 3 and 4

Posted in adventures in life, food, i like this, vegan with tags , , on May 22, 2009 by melsanie


Daily Crush

Posted in daily crush, objectifying guys and i'm ok with it with tags , , , on May 22, 2009 by melsanie

Please Won’t You Be My Roomate?

Posted in craigslist, San Francisco with tags , , , , on May 22, 2009 by thedith

So, I’m moving at the end of the month, which means I’m tasked with the oh-so-fun job of scouring craigslist for a place to live.  I was pretty lucky last time I craigslit’ed it for a housing arrangement — even though one of my roomates ended up Ponzi scheming me…

You do have to watch out though, because you can get stuck in a pretty awful situation, and the following ad pretty much scared the shit out of me.  I guess this guy wasn’t the biggest fan of his/her roomate…

big room with lots of… (north beach / telegraph hill) (map)

Date: 2009-05-22, 1:43AM PDT

…drama. Prefer someone who’s into drama, and will bring lots of drama into the house. Are you dramatic? Let’s chat! Maybe you ‘d like to start an argument over something inconsequential, or bring your boyfriend/girlfriend/pimp/drug dealer over to argue in the living room? Please have emotional issues including–but not limited to–childhood insecurities, daddy issues, “Mama never loved me” issues, whore/slut who can’t get enough attention, cock-teasers, misogynists, queers who are in the closet, power/control freaks, assholes, passive-aggressives, uptights, liars, manipulators, suicidals and junkies. (please do your own dishes, that’s my only pet peeve). Utilities included. Room is 10 x 10 but you are more than welcome to spread your shit around the house. Please tell me a little about yourself, and why you think you’d be the best person to bring drama into the household.

Thank you!

grant at green (google map) (yahoo map)

  • cats are OK – purrr
  • dogs are OK – wooof
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Daily Crush

Posted in daily crush, objectifying guys and i'm ok with it with tags , , , , , on May 22, 2009 by melsanie
Hold on one second, I'm about to call Mel and ask her on a date.

Hold on one second, I'm about to call Mel and ask her on a date.

I finally saw The Incredible Hulk tonight (pretty good!) and it reminded me of my crush on Edward Norton.  Not only has he been in some of my favorite movies (see tags) but he also dated Selma Hayek for a long time, and if he can get Selma, then he’s ok in my book.  Plus he has blue eyes, so, yeah. That’s nice.