I Thought We Just Wanna Have Fun?

Jemifer Aniston: Guilty of Ruining It. Refuckinglax, lady.

Co-worker: So, do you have a boyfriend?

Me: Nope.

Co-worker: Uhh…girl…friend?

Me: Nope.  No boyfriend, no girlfriend, and I don’t particularly want one right now.

Co-worker: [pensive] huh.

Why is it, that when a girl gets to be a certain age, she’s suposed to have a boyfriend (or desperately trying to get one) or else people think she’s nuts — or worse yet, deluding herself? I recently had the revelation a few weeks ago, that the majority of my girl friends are in relationships.  What was most startling to anyone who I would share this revelation to, is that I wasn’t even sad about it.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” They would say.

“Why? I don’t even really want a boyfriend.” Then the other person, most likely in a relationship herself, would smile sadly at me, feeling the pity for me that I was clearly too silly to feel for myself.

But, I don’t feel sorry for myself.  I like meeting new people, and not feeling bad about flirting with members of the opposite sex when I go out; I like not feeling obligated to hang out with one particular person just because it’s the weekend, and I-guess-that’s-what-we’re-supposed-to-do; I like not having to call someone everyday to check-in with them — or worse yet, receiving that “just checking in” call.  What I don’t like is the pressure that I feel from everyone else to “settle down” and have a boyfriend.  I’m not even 23 yet for chrissake, why should I have to “settle” for anything other than the seats in the back of the bus so that way old people can sit up front?

Caitlin: And then, we realized that everyone else Nina had invited to her party was in a couple —

Me: Literally, everyone.

Caitlin: Except the two of us, and Melroy, so then we just hung out with him and Al all night — single’s party, if you will.

Roomie Madoff: Oh, wow, really? Were they? I didn’t even notice [rubs her boyfriend proudly on the shoulder]

Me: [Ignoring Roomie Madoff] Oh, God, I just remembered you saying: let’s promise we never get boyfriends or girlfriends — and then we pinky swore.

Caitlin: Oh my God, I did? Wow, how lame were we? We’re retarded.  [Thinks a minute] I miss Single’s Party.  Remember how bummed we were when we found out Al was a fraud, and actually had a girl friend?

Roomie Madoff: [shakes her head sadly, in between the exchange of knowing glances with her boyfriend.  A sense of relief washes over her, as she thinks “thank God I’m not them!“]

Roomie Madoff’s Boyfriend: [smiles right back at her. Oh, those wacky single kids!]

It’s not that I’m opposed to relationships, don’t misinterpret me.  I just kind of think, hey, if it happens it happens, why worry about it? It alarms me that the two national past-times for girls in their 20’s seems to be a). obsessing about food and/or weight and b). obsessing about boyfriends/finding boyfriends.  Because really, aren’t there so many other things in life worth experiencing? Why try to force something that’s bound to happen anyway? It’s not that serious.  Why do you need a serious relationship? Can’t boys be just for fun, too sometimes?  Maybe I’m missing something, but I think the fewer responsibilities in life, the better.  Because someday, you might be married and have kids, and then you’ll be really sorry that you weren’t more carefree when you were younger.  Relax.    Remember Cyndi Lauper said girls just wanna have fun? Well, you’re ruining it.  Calm down.