Boys Shouldn’t Use Smiley Faces

 

Lindsay Lohan receiving yet another smiley face text message from Wilmer Valderama

Boys shouldn’t use emoticons ever.  That means, never ever.  A smiley face :) or any variation thereof is not whimsical or cute.  A sad face :( makes me think you’re retarded. And don’t send me a winky face ;) if you expect to talk to me ever again.  Sorry to be so blunt about it, guys, but it needed to be said.  Boys Using Emoticons(or BUE, pronounced “boo” — as in the noise you make when jeering something) has become rampant, and it needs to be put to an end.  Just type haha like a normal person, okay? Or better, if you’re gonna say something ambiguous, leave it up to me to determine whether or not you’re joking.  If you’re not? Great! I love jerks.  If you are, but I think you’re not? Great! I love jerks.  If you use an emoticon? Joke’s on you: I don’t like boys who use emoticons.

 

Next time: we’ll discuss why boys should never use “hehe” (hint: it’s creepy).