Archive for April, 2009

In an Alternate Universe

Posted in gchat gangstas, random with tags , , on April 30, 2009 by melsanie
this is what happens when you google search so what

this is what happens when you google search "so what"

mlandmcd: so what?
mlandmcd: i should say that to her
mlandmcd: just walk by her and go, “so what, money bags?” then throw a pie in her face
mlandmcd: and then me and my new best friend, a magical albino named powder,
mlandmcd: will just laugh and laugh


Posted in random with tags , , , , on April 30, 2009 by melsanie

New Career Goals

Posted in eff this, self realization, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 30, 2009 by thedith

Lately, I’ve been really into the idea of selling out and going corporate.  To hell with helping others and trying to make the world a more positive place; fuck the non-profit, not-for-profit, and NGO world — I just want to make piles of cash at a ginormous, heartless, corporation, so I can go swimming in my gold coin vault like my name is Scrooge McDuck.

I’ll take 3 martini lunches, and tell people “my assistant will take care of that” and everyone will look at me like I’m crazy, because uh, I AM the assistant, and why am I always coming back from lunch drunk?

This. Is the dream.


Posted in random, rivalries with tags , on April 30, 2009 by melsanie

Cheez-its > Cheese Nips

the best

Daily Crush

Posted in daily crush, Movies, objectifying guys and i'm ok with it with tags , , , , , , on April 30, 2009 by melsanie

Oh me? I'm just hanging out on a beach, shirtless and in my cargo shorts. Care to join?

In Wolverine he plays Bandit and kills people with his charming good looks and…cards?  Whatever works, I guess.  I’ll report back when I see it this weekend.

UPDATE: Yeah, he could totally kill people with the cards.  It was a neat trick. AND he did this crazy baton thingy.  It sounds lame but it was super awesome, trust. Oh, and that southern drawl?  Still music to my ears.

Dear Matthew Fox, What Happened?!

Posted in lost, mysteries, television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 30, 2009 by thedith

Is it me, or is chest-hairless Matthew Fox really, really creepy?  This post is like SPOILERS on crack.  If you haven’t seen the last few seasons of Lost, but want to, STOP READING NOW.

Jack’s hairless torso made its first appearance last season, when we were shown a flash-forward of Jack and Kate’s life together off the island.  Maybe this was a consequence of leaving the island? Kind of like how Michael couldn’t die, or Hurley started seeing dead people, Jack lost all his body hair from the neck down, because they weren’t supposed to leave the island! Last year, Defamer wrote a really great piece about the Curious Case of Jack’s Disappearing Chest Hair.

1970s: a good time for hairy chests

1970s: a good time for chest hair

But now we’re back on the island, and Jack’s hair still hasn’t grown back — which is totally weird by the way — wasn’t the 70’s The Decade of Chest Hair?
I don’t know if chest-hairless Jack  is the development of some Bare Chest-Off with Sawyer,
This hairless chest is okay, because it looks natural

Sawyer's hairless chest is okay, because it looks natural

but M.Fox, baby, there’s no need to be insecure about your chest hair.  Shaving it all off only brings more attention to those embarrassing tattoos… You’re a good looking guy, why ruin it by making your body look like a skinless chicken at the deli counter?

Okay, why?

This better mean something really awesome to him, because to me, it just means "ugly"

All I know is, hairless-chest-Matthew Fox: you’re not foolin’ anyone with that baby butt smooth torso.  You’re a hairy dude (hello, first few seasons of Lost?).

Its okay to have chest hair

You have to grow it back, Jack. You have to grow it BACK!

Get over it.  In fact, some chicks dig hairy guys.  Not necessarily this chick, but some chicks.  Please go back to your natural hairiness.  And also, tell 5th Season Jack to grow a pair of balls.  He sucks even more than usual.

I’m Easily Convinced

Posted in deep thoughts, random with tags , , , , , , , on April 30, 2009 by melsanie

As someone who is easily persuaded, I buy into every infomercial.  I don’t spend money on the products but man, after watching those long adverts I am CONVINCED that whatever product they’re trying to hauk at me is the greatest invention in the world.  Because I have been laying horizontal for the past three days watching TV, I’ve had a chance to see a few, like Bendaroos, which are lame wax like strips and FunSlides, which seem like the most dangerous toy a kid can have.  Despite the fact that these were less than stellar infomercials, I still wanted to buy them.  Duh.  But I got to thinking of which infomercials were my favorite and I came up with these:

The Magic Bullet Part 1 It’s not necessarily the product that is amazing but the characters on this infomercial that really make this one my favorite.

The Magic Bullet Part 2.  IT’S A PARTY!

Kinoki Pads. So much ew-factor going on.

SNUGGIE.  omg it’s SO hard to answer my phone when I’m under a blanket.

SlapChop. It has that creepy CREEPY ShamWow guy, but it’s funny/awkward in that there are so many sexual innuendos and not enough time.  Click here to watch it in Spanish and here to see it being rapped.  People have way too much time on their hands.

Did I miss any?

Got Swine Flu?

Posted in gchat gangstas, topical with tags , , , on April 30, 2009 by thedith


11:50 AM Jeffrey
11:51 AM me: ahahahahahaha

                  Jeffrey: lollll



11:52 AM me: HAHAHA
 Jeffrey: hahahah
  thought you’d enjoiii
11:53 AM me: oh, i more than enjoyed

Daily Crush

Posted in daily crush, objectifying guys and i'm ok with it with tags , , , on April 29, 2009 by melsanie

If you haven’t read, Mer and I are huge geeks.  So, in preparation for Wolverine coming out this weekend, the next three Daily Crush’s are going to feature stars in the flick. Since I know some people have a hankering for Hugh Jackman, you’re welcome.

Uh, More Like FUNemployment…

Posted in California, really?, San Francisco, topical with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 29, 2009 by thedith


Are we still raising the roof?

Are we still raising the roof?

So, unless that case of the swine flu you caught the other day has left you disoriented and/or amnesiatic, you probably know that our economy? Not so hot right now.  And California? Not the healthiest state in The Union. You may have heard that California has the fourth highest unemployment rate in the country; or that the entire state ran out of cash in February .  Today, I read that one million Californians are unemployed.  That’s right, 1 million.  You’d think that this would kind of bum people out.  You’d be wrong. Now that no one has to work during the day, people are happier than ever.  Take my neighborhood for example:


My local park was teeming with people sprawled luxuriously in the sun.  Some were shirtless, others wore bathing suits — and only two were just crazy homeless people.  None were tourists.  The sidewalk cafes were littered with Yuppy couples and friends, probably trading composting tips; gelato shops were packed with hooded-headed hipsters.  I could go on, except, what is going on San Francisco?  No one is at work, and no one seems to mind.  Is there a such thing as “funemployment?”

I’d ask my unemployed musician neighbor who lives upstairs, but he’s too busy blasting gypsy carnival music to answer.